I want the race to end. I want to be where I am - in the present. I want to believe that the future will somehow work out. I want to eat a slice of cake without thinking I have to run it off.
Well, the my last wish I already have. Or I almost already do, I don't really care about the pounds of unhealthy fattening food that I eat everyday, but my point is - I keep telling myself I should.
Why should I? Why should I constantly care about my midterm next week, getting into the honors program next year, getting a good GRE score, getting into graduate school, getting a job, getting married, having a family... You see? It never ends.
Even the little things - remembering to submit my time sheet tomorrow for work, to charge my phone before I sleep, remembering to turn in that English paper in the next hour... Life is about constantly figuring out what to do next, and next.
If I am watching a TV show, I remind myself in the 15th min that I only have 40 min to watch the 43 min show because I have to take a shower and get to class in 75 mins. I don't want to have to do that. I want to be where I am. I want to live in the present. Life is going to move along weather I plan for it to or not, then why must I make such an effort to ensure that every min is accounted for. Time is NOT money. Time should not be money. Money is money and time is time. Why can't we leave it that way?
My brother said something to me once about how everything we humans do in the time between our birth and death, apart from reproduction (which is a necessary biological process that we must engage in to propagate out species) is just entertainment. That's right, relationships, education, economics, health care and the rest of the 'vital' facets of human life are all dispensable. How does that make you feel?
On Valentine’s Day
2 weeks ago
2 comments:
Wow, that's a really good philosophical analysis. I too, would like not to worry about "time" or "the next worry".
And actually, as the person quoted - I'll tell you that it makes me feel good! Seriously - if life is really just keeping our brains occupied and entertained, it means that we are better capable of coping with inevitable subjects like survival and mortality.
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